Another Mom Story
Broken Windshield, Celina TX.
When I was going through my divorce 22 years ago, at age 38, I stayed at her place for a few days. I'm an only child, and Dad died when I was 13, so she's it, in terms of close family. This is someone who has never said "I love you" or initiated a hug, so you can understand the weird feeling of going to such a person for comfort, but again... she's what I had.
She told me I looked awful. I hadn't slept well in a couple of days, so this was probably true. Then she took my picture, something she rarely does outside of Christmas. I remember looking at her and thinking, "Why?" but I was exhausted and blew it off. This was with a real camera, not a cell phone.
A week later we were at dinner with a high school friend of mine and his parents. She pulled out the photo and showed them. "See how hurt he was?" I wanted to crawl under the table. The parents looked petrified. I said, "What are you doing?" and tried to take it away from her, but she snatched it back and tucked it into her purse.
I'm not sharing these stories to gossip. You don't know her, or me. I'm trying to understand this person as a fellow adult and parent, before she dies. Maybe nobody understands their parents fully till they're gone. Maybe I should tuck this memory into a drawer and only look at it when I move again.
How did she end up like this?
How did I come out different?
My daughters are 25 and 28. We have a good relationship. I say "I love you" and hug them all the time. Did I stop a cycle, or just delay it?