More on Nolan's Odyssey
Athena Parthenon at Nashville, Tennessee.
A few trivial criticisms. Still loved the movie.
- Ancient god statues were not blank, like in museums. They were colorfully painted. (The temple of Athena in Troy looked like it was made out of sand.)
- Even peasants wore colorful clothes and jewelry makeup. Everyone in this movie looks like they got their clothes at Mr. Drab's Grab Bag, or Dr Evil's Black Leather for Bad Guys.
- Agamemnon was not the only dude with distinctive armor. It was custom made for each person. In fact, the armor of each guy was so distinctive, that in the Illiad, when Achilles' special friend Patroclus dons his armor to inspire the troops and gets slaughtered, Hector's reasonable comment to Achilles was, to paraphrase, "Settle down, bitch. We thought it was you."
- The "Who blinded you? Nobody!" bit was skipped. Best joke in the story. How dare you.
- For such a diverse cast, it's funny that there were no Greeks.
I know it's a fantasy, but it's a fantasy set in a time we know something about, so these kinds of details matter because they can pull the viewer out of the film. (They didn't. I was totally into it. But getting more sleep and having more thoughts, these are the notes I have for you, Mr. Nolan.)
In my version of the Odyssey, coming soon to a deluded fantasy near you:
- Painted statues.
- Ancient club-scene togas.
- Custom armor for everyone.
- More snappy, Marvel-esque humor.
- No diversity at all. Mostly Greeks, with Turks for Trojans. Entire movie voiced in classical Greek with subtitles.
My movie would bomb, preserved only in midnight showings at art house cinemas for ironic joy, but it'd have verisimilitude, dammit!